Adam Glanzman/Getty Images
It was difficult to log into the BroBible Slack channel this morning and to the digital cries of my co-worker’s NFL teams.
Cass Anderson is a Bucs fan (who I believe are still a franchise?).
Nick Dimengo is a Browns fan (who got mushroom-stamped by the Titans but whatever because Odell wore that cool watch for the ‘gram).
The #Patriots will now roll with Antonio Brown, Josh Gordon, Philip Dorsett, & Julian Edelman at a combined $16.5M of 2019 cap going forward…
Odell Beckham Jr.’s 2019 cap hit is $17M.https://t.co/YmPjh28E2B
— Spotrac (@spotrac) September 9, 2019
Jorge Alonso is a Dolphins fan (because he hates joy).
Huge congratulations to Douglas Charles, whose Titans secured a convincing victory! (although he won’t see this as he is currently at the parade).
Eric Italiano is a Jets fan (who blew a 16-point lead to the lose to the Bills and are one loss away from Fireman Ed diving into the burning building).
Brandon Wenerd’s Eagles won (but not before mocking a dead guy).
It’s quite exhausting to always be empathizing. Birthday parties are no fun if you’re the only one swinging at the piñata.
My beloved Patriots gave the Steelers a swirley, ran their undies up a flag pole, and then lowered them to half mast to pay tribute to Ben Roethlisberger’s impending retirement. Rinse and repeat.
Tom Brady’s out here at 62 years old, still without a wrinkle or even a pore for that matter, sexin’ it up on social media and rubbing the Steelers’ noses in their own stinky turds.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B2MyamlhC7H/
Live look at me at the BroBible lunch table this afternoon.
Please pray for me. I can’t spend the next five months as Stephen Fucking Glansberg lugging around these Lombardi’s in my rolly backpack.
**If you or anyone you know are being negatively affected by the shittiness of your NFL teams, you are not alone. Talk to a licensed professional or call Tom Brady a cheater on Twitter to ease your burden.**