After playing for 13 years and having a more than solid MLB career, recently retired pitcher Dan Haren took to Twitter today to tell some of his followers about a few moments that occurred during his time in the big leagues—and may have won the fucking Internet by doing so.
Rather than waste time putting together a tell-all tale about what goes on in a pro athlete’s head, Haren used 140 characters to describe some hilarious stories that set Twitter on fire during a stationary bike ride.
Here’s a small sampling of what the former hurler had to say.
My personal favorites might be Haren’s only superstition and pregame ritual of plugging himself up from shitting by taking Imodium before starts.
Dan Haren is going to fall short of the Hall of Fame on the baseball field, but off of the diamond he’s the leader in the clubhouse for hilarious tweets. Kudos, dude.