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Dan Orlovsky had a predictably weird take on Erling Haaland's haircut
The good news for American soccer fans is that the very fact that Get Up! dedicated a segment to Erling Haaland’s recent haircut means the sport’s profile is growing in the country. The bad news is that it means Dan Orlovsky is sharing his thoughts on it.
Dan Orlovsky is a weirdo; this much we know. In a 2023 profile, GQ called him the “weirdo king” of ESPN. From his infamously infantile dietary habits to his effusive adoration of Pat McAfee’s music, Orlovsky’s weirdness can range from the benign to the genuinely off-putting.
Dan Orlovsky prefaced comments about Erling Haaland’s haircut by making it clear that he loves his wife
In the latest example of his weirdness teetering into the uncomfortable, Orlovsky prefaced his take on Erling Haaland’s recent haircut by making it clear that he loves his wife — with the implication being that he does not want his opinion of the Manchester City striker’s hair to be confused with potentially homosexual feelings toward him.
“I’m happily, happily, happily married to my wife Tiffany,” Orlovsky said. “I think he looks better with the shorter hair.”
“I’m just confused what Tiffany’s got to do with it?” fellow analyst and former NFL player Dominique Foxworth chimed in.
“For clarity reasons,” Orlovsky replied.
“Oh, you didn’t want people to think that you were going to leave your wife for Haaland. Okay, gotcha!” Foxworth cheekily retorted.
Orlovsky unable to comment on Haaland’s haircut without first specifying that he loves his wife pic.twitter.com/vWKhXK9StG
— – (@computerpersons) August 24, 2026