It’s on. The 2016 Ryder Cup opening ceremonies take place at 5pm this evening following the ceremonial Captain’s Match. By this time tomorrow (Friday) morning Team USA and the European team will squaring off in the first set of foursome matches, and euro golfer Danny Willett will already be getting torched by fans as a direct result of a letter his brother (Pete Willett) wrote in National Club Golfer. A letter in which he takes the chance to call every American golf fan a fat slob.
Here are some excerpts from Pete Willett’s letter, and if these don’t make you want to wipe your ass with the Union Jack then I don’t know what will
Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups. Four of those five victories have come on home soil. For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly (f**k you, Paul Jennings), they only have the courage to keg you if they’re backed up by a giggling group of reprobates. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up.
They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.
They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.
They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.
That’s just one portion of this letter. You can read it in full by following that link above. Now let’s talk about the recklessness of this letter and how Pete Willett just threw his brother Danny under the bus.
Danny Willett has already expressed disdain for his brother’s letter, and European Team captain Darren Clarke has addressed it with condemnation, but the damage is done. This fuckboi Pete Willett just put a target on his brother’s back for the entire competition, instantly making his brother the easiest player to heckle on the course. Of course, American fans will be respectful when Willett is hitting his shots, but between holes and while he’s warming up this dude’s going to have to deal with an endless onslaught of slurs all because his nobody of a brother thought it would be a great idea to poke the bear. Danny Willett went to college in America (Jacksonville State), he probably lives here half the year for training and competition, and how his dumbass brother’s gone and made Danny Public Enemy #1 in the eyes of American fans. It’s the least bro move in the history of the Ryder Cup, throwing your own brother under the bus because you wanted to stoke the flames.