Bros, The Holiday Season Is Coming To Murder Your Wallet–Let Us Help You With That

Bros, the holiday season is fast approaching. I’m sure that psychopath Debbie from Accounting has already decorated her desk with red and green tinsel and a talking Santa. That Santa may be the only one in the office who can stick around for her nauseatingly boring cat stories, so props to Debbie’s Santa. Thanks for taking a bullet for all of us.

Regardless, the holiday season means that you’ll be strongarmed into spending money that you don’t have to buy your loved ones shit they won’t use–all in the name of holiday spirit!! You won’t fully recover financially until–actually you’ll probably never recover financially. Because then there’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re girlfriend’s going to expect a fucking rainbow-colored unicorn and you’re wallet will be thinner than Tara Reid’s wrist again. Rinse and repeat. Vicious never-ending cycle.



You enter DraftKings contest to celebrate the return of the NBA.

The contest begins Wednesday, November 4th at 7 pm EST and there is an astounding $1,000,000 prize pool up for grabs and first place reels in a cool $100,000. But if you’re not first, don’t fret because the top 11,500 scores win money GUARANTEED.

The entry fee is $20, or in holiday terms, one pair of socks to stuff in your dad’s stocking that he’ll regift to someone he hates.

The drafting structure is standard salary cap style: Each GM will be given $50,000 to select 8 spots for his roster: 1 PG, 1 SG, 1 SF, 1 PF, 1 C, 1 G, 1 F and 1 Utility.

Bros, don’t miss your opportunity to have a green Christmas instead of checking your bank statement every time you buy a pack of gum. Free yourselves.


Debbie’s still talking, isn’t she? God damnit.