When I first saw this, it reminded me that my knowledge on the rules of golf is shit…just utter shit. I know the basics, but the idea of opening a rule book to edify myself further never crossed my mind. That meant I had to Google, “what is the rule when an asshole animal steals your golf ball?” Here is what I found thanks to a rules expert named Linda.
Alligators and fire ants are considered dangerous under the Rules of Golf. Rattlesnakes and bees fall under the same heading. If your ball lands near any of these creatures, you are entitled to a free drop on the nearest spot that is no closer to the hole and out of danger. You do not have to retrieve your original ball – drop another and stay safe [Decision 1-4/10].
Thanks, Linda. You’re a real fine lady.
Although Linda doesn’t specifically state what happens when the animal steals the ball, you have to assume the ball in the scenarios above are stolen BY FEAR and also by the animal. So if this happens to you, take a free drop and when your friend accuses you of going closer to the hole, make fun of his poor depth perception. Obviously the ball was only five feet from the hole and not the forty feet he “thought” it was before the animal stole it. Blind idiot.
In case you were wondering, this act of nature took place on the 12th hole at North Bellingham Golf Course in Bellingham, WA.