Ohio State Running Back Ezekiel Elliot Gets Thirsty With Taylor Swift On Twitter

Ezekiel Elliot is a little parched.

Ohio State football is the number 1 ranked team in the nation. Ezekiel Elliot has been a major player in that, scoring 4 touchdowns and eclipsing the 100 yard rushing mark in each of OSU’s wins this season.

With the football program as the trophy of the university which schools an undergrad student enrollment of over 44,000 (around 22,000 college-aged chicks), it should be infuriatingly easy for the football players to pull tail. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but the players don’t even have to exert the effort to shoot the fish, the dead fish comes knocking at their door late night. Sometimes even schools of fish. Fish waiting to be boned.

With thousands and thousands of hot college chicks at a star athlete’s beckoning call, I’m having trouble seeing the motive in Ezekiel Elliot’s recent tweets to Tay.

“”And the follow-up:

Now, don’t get me wrong, Tay Tay is pretty in that pop star way and her superstar status surely adds some appeal, but she simply can’t hold a flame to the smoke right in Ezekiel’s backyard.””
https://www.instagram.com/p/v_pGOSIETm/

To each his own, bro.

[h/t Complex]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.