Picking on Florida Gators is so easy it’s almost not even fun. Between their predilection towards cutoff jean shorts, Tim Tebow worship, and the football team’s recent 4-8 (win-loss) record just three years ago the Gators have become the punching bag of Florida. Well, according to arrest reports out of Baton Rouge the embarrassment of being a Florida Gators fan was just too much for one man to handle, and it caused him to crack and go on a total Archer-style RAMPAGE.
What began in a strip club with a group of bros on a bachelor party ribbing 32-year-old Everett L. Beauchamp IV about his hideous blue and orange Florida Gators gear ended in a high speed car chase. A car chase that saw the Florida Gators fan attempting to ram a car with his Ford Truck before opening fire on the vehicle’s tail lights.
Everett L. Beauchamp IV, 32, was at The Penthouse Club on Bennington Avenue around 2:15 a.m. when one of six men at a bachelor’s party made an unwanted comment on Beauchamp’s Florida Gators gear, the Baton Rouge Police Department report says.
In response, Beauchamp picked up a stool at the valet entrance to the club and tried to assault the man who made the comment, but he was stopped.
Beauchamp threatened to get a weapon and walked to his vehicle to get a handgun, the report says, at which time the men drove away in their vehicle.
Beauchamp followed them in his 2013 Ford Raptor down College Drive onto I-10 eastbound, the report says. The men exited at Essen Lane, only to get back onto I-10 going westbound, at which point Beauchamp tried to ram his vehicle into theirs.
Beauchamp followed them onto the interstate and as they reached the I-10 westbound, I-12 eastbound loop Beauchamp opened fire on their vehicle, striking the vehicle once under the driver’s side taillight.
The men only lost Beauchamp after they exited the interstate at Dalrymple Drive, according to the report.
Shortly before 3 a.m. uniform patrolers found an impaired Beauchamp and his vehicle after he drove his truck into the LSU Lakes at East Lakeshore near Stanford Avenue, according to the report.
Ah yes, the classic ‘I should drive my car into a lake to hid the evidence’ move. Unfortunately for this Gators fan there were cameras at the club, eye witnesses, and he was still wearing his hideous UF clothing. The report also went on to say that he told police he’d drank between ‘eight and 10 Corona beers’ before all of this went down, which only exacerbated the LONG list of charges that he’s facing: ‘six counts of assault by drive-by shooting, one count of aggravated criminal damage to property, DWI, reckless driving, failure to maintain control and one count of illegal use of a weapon.‘
If any Florida Gators fans are out there I’d just like to remind you that when people give you shit about your hideous team color it’s all a joke, not a dick, and you really shouldn’t take it so hard.