Former Washington And Minnesota Cornerback Fred Smoot Says The Best Part Of The NFL Facilities Is The ‘Blow Job Girl’

by 3 years ago
WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 30:  Fred Smoot of the Washington Redskins walks the red carpet at the Gillette Fusion Men of Style Awards at the Lux Lounge on November 30, 2009 in Washington, DC.  (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)

Getty ImageFormer Washington and Minnesota cornerback Fred Smoot did an "Ask Me Anything" on Reddit yesterday for the /r/NFL subreddit, allowing your Average Joes to ask him anything they wanted, although there was no guarantee that his answer would be legit. For example, when asked "What's the best $82,352 you ever spent?" Smoot's answer was "ask my accountant." Like, cool dude, you have sooooo much money that you can't even keep track of how much you spend. Too bad us peasants are living over here freaking out over whether or not I can afford to get pizza delivered for dinner tonight.But the most important question in the whole thread was as follows:Reddit


Yup, the blow job girls who hide under locker room benches until summoned are the highlight of every NFL facility. They rank a mile above everything else, including free food, massage therapists, giant buckets of leprechaun gold and the on-site dry cleaning service whose sole bragging right is that they’ve never lost a single dress shirt in their 20 years of business. Again, us peasants have to go to crack-alley hookers if we want designated blow job girls — we’re not “fancy” enough to have them just waiting around at our disposal. Which is a bummer, because I could really use one to clean my apartment 7 days a week along with the occasional load of laundry. Yes, I know neither of those tasks include giving a blow job, but I figure “blow job girl” basically equates to “indentured servant” in which case I’d rather have her doing something useful than just spitting on NFL dick 24/7.


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