Former Washington And Minnesota Cornerback Fred Smoot Says The Best Part Of The NFL Facilities Is The ‘Blow Job Girl’
Yup, the blow job girls who hide under locker room benches until summoned are the highlight of every NFL facility. They rank a mile above everything else, including free food, massage therapists, giant buckets of leprechaun gold and the on-site dry cleaning service whose sole bragging right is that they’ve never lost a single dress shirt in their 20 years of business. Again, us peasants have to go to crack-alley hookers if we want designated blow job girls — we’re not “fancy” enough to have them just waiting around at our disposal. Which is a bummer, because I could really use one to clean my apartment 7 days a week along with the occasional load of laundry. Yes, I know neither of those tasks include giving a blow job, but I figure “blow job girl” basically equates to “indentured servant” in which case I’d rather have her doing something useful than just spitting on NFL dick 24/7.