With the Indiana Hoosiers basketball season just a few weeks
away, there is no better time than now to take our minds off of theinspiring2-2 season the football team
has put together and focus on meaningful sports. Although the Hoosiers lost
stalwart Victor Oladipo and savior (As well as possible former “Monstar”) Cody
Zeller to the NBA draft, they return enough talent to once again contend. So
without further adieu, here are the most notable members of the 2013-2014
squad.
Tom Crean– Coach
Crean returns for his 5thyear at the program. When he is not
attempting to solve world hunger or working to create a new, more viable
sustainable energy, he directs the Hoosiers from the sideline, usually with
great success. This year, after his normal routine of curing local lepers of
their ailments and turning water into Gatorade, he managed to recruit top tier
talent that should make an immediate impact, in the form of forward Noah Vonleh
and center Luke Fischer. Crean is reportedly incredibly excited for the
upcoming season, as onlookers at the annual “Last Supper”, a team dinner had
before the beginning of the season, stated that he was upbeat and joking with
players, including Jeremy “Judas” Hollowell.
Will Sheehey– In
what seems like his 14thyear in the program, forward Will Sheehey
hopes to improve his game and help the squad by moving into a starting role.
When asked if he would finally raise his points-per-game average above his
children-per-year average, he smiled and laughed off the statement, while
slowly beginning to sweat, simultaneously counting on his fingers as an
incredibly nervous look crept across his face.
Yogi Ferrell–
Yogi, a sophomore point guard and the only returning starter, should make an
enormous impact this year and is sure to be the reason for the team’s success
or failure in the upcoming season. However, instead of break down his play, I
would instead like to take this time to question why he has never once answered
one of my tweets. Yogi, I tweet at you like twice a week. Why will you not
answer me? I’m starting to take it personally.
It’s really getting to me. Help.
Noah Vonleh– Noah
Vonleh, an incoming freshman from Haverhill, MA, was the #5 ranked power
forward coming out of high school, and the top recruit in IU’s 2013 class. A
McDonalds All-American as well as Jordan Brand Classic Game selection, Vonleh
will make an instant impact on the court attempting to replace Cody Zeller. He
is a 6-8 scoring machine down low that….Yogi, if you’re still reading, can we
please talk? It would mean a lot. I like sports too! See, we have so much in
common. It’s like we are already best friends.
And that concludes the season preview for the Indiana
Hoosiers. The team this year will have an uphill battle if they are to recreate
the success of last year. However, with a home environment like Assembly Hall,
anything is possible.
“