Have you heard? Big 10 football is returning. Truth be told, I’m not nearly educated enough about COVID or college football to pontificate on whether or not this is a good decision. As a college football fan and a Big 10 alumni — yes, Rutgers University is still being dragged around like a carcass in the desert sun up-and-down Big 10 country — I’m certainly excited. No boycott here, I’ll be tuning into
Sure, college football is college football, and watching the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns not only exist, but snuff Iowa State, is certainly enjoyable, but it just isn’t the same as watching Wisconsin and Michigan trade 3.3 yard carries between the 30-yard-lines on a brisk November afternoon as you crush buffalo chicken dip and Octoberfest beers. It just hits different.
Naturally, though, because nothing can happen in this country without becoming an epicenter of argument, the internet has had some #TAKES about the news of the Big 10’s return, ranging from the level-headed (such as mine and likely yours, which is something along the lines of “if it’s safe and the players want to play, so be it), to the absolutely absurd (such as USA Today calling it the “darkest day” in the conference’s history — the conference that housed Jerry Sandusky, I remind you), to the obviously trolling, such as this ticking-Twitter-timebomb-take from The Daily Caller writer David Hookstead.
I’ve spent the past 188 days fighting to save Big 10 football. Today, we accomplished the mission.
Much like the Osama Bin Laden raid or D-Day, you never know when your number will be called to serve. All you hope for is to execute your job and the mission.
We did just that.
— David Hookstead (@dhookstead) September 16, 2020
Unsurprisingly, whether it be because they don’t understand the sarcasm or simply think this isn’t a matter to be sarcastic about, the Blue Checkmark Brigade on Twitter had tons to say about Hookstead’s tweet, with reactions registering all across the Twitter Freakout Richter Scale.
This may be the funniest tweet I've read on this site in a long time. https://t.co/WxoHK7QHrQ
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) September 16, 2020
This is parody, right? An attempt at satire? https://t.co/kdoA6kF19V
— Matt Maisel (@Matt_Maisel) September 16, 2020
My number was called today as well. Wife spotted a nasty looking spider and I sprung into action. You hope you’ll react well but you never know. https://t.co/vu0hbda0As
— John McMullen (@JFMcMullen) September 16, 2020
Guys, this is clearly a joke. https://t.co/sR1JPO6jSb
— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) September 16, 2020
You accomplished nothing other than getting some teenagers sick.
— Dave Zirin (@EdgeofSports) September 16, 2020
This is David. David has delusions grandeur and is seeking attention. Don’t be David. https://t.co/5DyFXU4QBU
— Maury Brown (@BizballMaury) September 16, 2020
This truly is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life. Good lord. https://t.co/qBMTYdkOgn
— Joe Spears (@joe_spears7) September 16, 2020
serious question: is this guy joking, or is he actually comparing college football to life-or-death heroism? https://t.co/dc7lPI5PVA
— Kate Bennett (@KateBennett_DC) September 16, 2020
I would personally like to say, to all the starving children in the world who read my silly basketball column today: You're welcome. https://t.co/kCtgxN8TnY
— Michael Rosenberg (@Rosenberg_Mike) September 16, 2020
Next time someone questions whether Trump said shitty things about Veterans (he did, many times), remember that MAGA equates putting your life on the line for our country with… football.
What a jackass. https://t.co/T6900mvaKJ
— kevinbiegel (@kbiegel) September 16, 2020
oh my god i don’t even know where to start with this
you’d think people think things that are on pause to save people’s lives or quality thereof in the future were cancelled forever 🤦♀️ https://t.co/3VmdfmllZm
— megan YELI MVP brown (@thatgirlondeck) September 16, 2020
The entire USC Football team has Covid-19, good luck with that. https://t.co/fYhmGQfWXI
— Tom Colicchio (@tomcolicchio) September 16, 2020
If there were a Congressional Medal of Asshattery, this guy would be first in line. https://t.co/ChGMyHikbG
— Matt Spence (@mattspencedc) September 16, 2020
he just compared college football to killing bin Laden.
2020 can’t end soon enough https://t.co/6dLxaiz4qO
— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) September 16, 2020
Man fuck all you people who just discovered Hookstead. I’ve been following this guy since he said he was qualified to say most women lie about rape because he “personally stopped a rape.” https://t.co/k5fVtkH9EG
— Goy Division/Jew Order (@ben_geier) September 16, 2020
In case you were worried that the return of college football was going to be an absolute nightmare on the internet, congrats – you were 1000% correct! In fact, it’ll probably be even worse than you previously imagined. The Blue Checkmarks live for this shit, especially in this cursed year that is 2020. You wanted sports and politics to be kept separate? Just wait until the Big 10 kicks off a couple of weeks before the election. You’ll be better off just deleting Twitter.