The Dallas Cowboys succumbed to the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday Night Football, 28-24. But, the result of a sportsball game is secondary to the bigger story–the Dallas Cowboys organization is owned by a ruthless, sociopathic serial killer in Jerry Jones.
I don’t have any bodies to show. There is no smoking gun. Or severed limbs in Jerry’s gold-encrusted freezer.
The only evidence the prosecution is going on is the manner in which the 77-year-old claps, if that’s even what you want to call it.
After a seven play, 75-yard third quarter drive that resulted in a beautiful Amari Cooper touchdown pass that knotted the game at 20, Jerry Jones essentially pulled a Robert Durst when he admitted to his killings on a hot mic, by celebrating as only a psychopath would.
I don’t have the vocabulary to describe Jones’ clap, but I imagine this is how a normal person would clap if they sat on both of their hands until they fell asleep.
The irony in Jerry Jones not knowing how to clap is that he hired a coach who is a clapping machine, through thick and thin.