The shit pie that’s been baking in the oven for the past month in the Cowboys oven has officially come out a totally edible, non-shit filled apple pie. Just like grandma used to make. Rest in peace.
It’s been three weeks since Jerry Jones diminished the talents of his 1,400+ yard rusher by claiming the Cowboys don’t need a rushing champion to win a Super Bowl and quipped “Zeke who?” when asked about the two-time Pro Bowler’s contract holdout.
Jerry Jones, after an extensive game of chicken, opened up his checkbook to offer Zeke a six-year extension worth a total of $90 million, with $50 million guaranteed. The 24-year-old is now the highest-paid running back in the NFL, besting Todd Gurley’s four-year contract worth $57.5 million, with $45 million guaranteed.
Jerry Jones could have literally shit down my throat every day of my career before then and offered me $90 million and I’d act just how Zeke did when the Cowboys owner gave him a “Zeke who?” t-shirt on Thursday.
The back says in big bold letters: “THAT’S WHO!”
Zeke told reporters: “I think it’s pretty funny. I was thinking about doing the same thing.”
Hats off to Jerry Jones for this genius marketing ploy. Make fun of your crazy self to control the narrative. Maybe he’ll make up the difference in initial negotiations via merch sales. A true NFL fairy tale.