Jon Stewart Tore the City of Philadelphia a New Asshole Last Night

by 4 years ago


Last week, Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg claimed iconic New York burger chain Shake Shack gave him massive diarrhea when he was in town to take on the Mets. Sandberg claims he lost six pounds in two days shitting Shake Shack out.

Having lived in New York for years, I’m not surprised by claim; Shake Shack is a overrated, overpriced East Coast In-and-Out Burger wannabe. As far as delicious burgers go, it’s a sub-par experience, even though yuppie-ass New Yorkers treat it like it’s goddamn caviar because foodie corleone Danny Meyer happened to found it.

ANYWAY, last night the saga made it to The Daily Show, with Stewart railing “A great New York restaurant is being slandered by some jagoff from Philadelphia.” He proceeded to tear the city of Philadelphia a new asshole. In a single rant, he managed to take a shot at Rocky, cheesesteaks, and the Phillie Phanatic. In otherwords, pretty much everything Philly holds sacred:

“What kind of city takes the parts of the cow normal people throw away, fries it up on a hunk of bread and before serving it up, asks ‘you want me to put whiz on that?’ I’ll tell ya, a city SO FUCKING DUMB it uses its art museum as exercise equipment. A city so famously fucked that no animal would represent its baseball team forcing you to go with this fucked up Jim Henson-reject-looking piece of sh!t.”

Cheesesteak from Dalessandro’s > Shake Shack any day of the week. Carry on, Ryan Sandberg. The rant starts around the four minute mark:

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[H/T: 700 Level]


TAGSJon Stewartthe daily show

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