In 1994 the Seattle Mariners had a ridiculously talented roster that included Ken Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, Edgar Martinez and a fresh-faced rookie by the name of Alex Rodriguez. With hard-hitting Griffey Jr., Martinez and Jay Buhner, the Mariners were jacking bombs at the Kingdome, and jacking off in the locker. At least A-Rod would have if this diabolical prank had succeeded.
Sports Illustrated has the sticky deets on the prank:
The year before, he’d pulled a subtler prank on another teammate: Alex Rodriguez, then an 18-year-old rookie shortstop who, like Griffey, had been the top pick in the draft. Griffey enlisted Seattle’s trainer, Rick Griffin, to convince Rodriguez that the club’s stars—including Buhner and Randy Johnson—were involved in a scheme to sell their sperm to the highest bidder, as if they were thoroughbred stallions, and that Rodriguez might himself attract an appreciable stud fee. He brought in a fake doctor. “Dude, you got great genes,” Griffey told the rookie. The callow Rodriguez was skeptical at first. Then he started to come around. “How much money do you think we could make?” he asked. Griffey, mercifully, pulled the plug before donations were to be harvested. “Everybody has rookie hazing,” he says. “That was his.”
What a jerkoff Griffey is. Why didn’t he carry through with the spunky prank!
Bad job by Griffey here. He’s selling Rodriguez on the wrong thing. Here’s the proper sales pitch, “Alex, you give your sperm and then 9 months later there are a lot more little A-Rods on the planet.” To put A-Rod in the mood to milk his own cock cream, all they had to do was put Rodriguez in front of a mirror.
To get an idea of what A-Rod’s hand-to-gland combat would have looked like.
Thanks for coming.