Kendrick Perkins’ Credit Card Declined Because His Son Dropped $16,000 On Fortnite

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Some experts predict a boom in births come early 2021 with quarantined couples having no choice but to have sexual intercourse.

Kendrick Perkins is here to remind you of the dire consequences of those flippant actions with a story of children at their worst.

On an episode of Hoop Streams on Tuesday, the NBA Champion told a story about how his 12-year-old son, Kenxton, bled him dry with his addiction to Fortnite.

“I hate video games,” said Perkins. “My kids drive me crazy with it. I do not indulge — they drive me crazy. My household is nothing but Fortnite, NBA 2K. It just drives me crazy.

“Quick story: I get my credit card bill back, I got to the store, my credit card is declined. Come to find out, my kids spent $16,000 worth of Fortnite bills on my credit card. Every since then I’m cool on Fortnite, I do not indulge in video games.”

“Sixteen thousand dollars. And it was buying skins every day, whatever that is. I had to dispute the charge and I was like you know what? forget this video game stuff. So they don’t even talk to me about it.”

According to my thorough investigative research, Fortnite skins cost around $20 to buy. That amounts to 800 skins.

Goddamn. When I was a kid I was concentrated on a different type of skins. Where my Limewire bros at!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.