Think Your Ex Is Crazy? Well NASCAR Driver Kurt Busch Testifies That His Ex-Girlfriend Is A ‘Trained Assassin’

Sneakily, this is one of the craziest news stories of 2015 so far. NASCAR driver Kurt Busch is currently in a legal brouhaha with his ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll. The court hearing stems from an alleged domestic assault in his motorhome at Dover Downs International Speedway, in which Busch’s ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, alleges that he slammed her head three times against the bedroom wall. Busch denied the allegations on Monday in court. As if that’s not already weird enough, things took a turn for the REALLY weird.

Busch then alleged that his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll (a former WAG of the Week on this blog), is a hired killer. That’s right, an assassin. Via ESPN:

Busch, appearing in court again over Driscoll’s request for a no-contact order, continued the push of his legal team to discredit his ex as a scorned woman out to destroy his career, portraying her as a character fit for a screenplay.

Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa.

He recounted one time when the couple was in El Paso, Texas. He said Driscoll left in camouflage gear only to return later wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered with blood.

A day earlier, Busch said his ex-girlfriend told him she was a mercenary who killed people for a living and had shown him pictures of bodies with gunshot wounds.

Busch said Tuesday that Driscoll had claimed that a female character in “Zero Dark Thirty,” a film depicting the CIA’s hunt for Osama bin Laden, was a composite of her and other women.

Last month, Michael Doncheff, who served as a personal assistant to Busch and Driscoll, said an ailing Driscoll told him in September that she had been picked up by a big man and slammed to the ground while helping round up immigrants at the Mexican border, a story Doncheff considered “far-fetched.”

Doncheff said Driscoll also asserted that she was a trained assassin for the U.S. government and once told him, “I take down foreign governments. I own Washington.”

What. The. Hell. In an interview with USA Today, Busch said “I knew she could take me down at any moment… Because she is a badass.”

As crazy as this sounds, Jalopnik speculates that this doesn’t sound all that far fetched. Driscoll is apparently the owner/operator of a company called Frontline Defense Systems, a defense contracting company. They found this biographical blurb on their website about her work in mercenary black ops:

Here’s a description of what her company does, which sounds very vague:

Frontline Defense Systems LLC, is a customized services company specifically designed to support the U.S. Govt. and commercial companies engaged in the Global War on Terror. We specialize in customizing “best of breed” off the shelf, hardware and software components to solve specific problems in the intelligence collection and operational support arenas. Due to our vast network of associates, we also have the ability to “bring on” the specific consulting expertise needed for each individual project. This combination of “just the right” people and products makes us one of the most dynamic, and capable companies engaged in the GWOT. FDS represents more than 20 businesses and their services and products.

And finally, here’s a video profiling her.

Of course, just because you own and operate a defense contracting company doesn’t mean you’r an assassin. She denied being an assassin entirely yesterday, saying it’s something straight out of a film script she’s been working on. Also, it doesn’t mean that the allegations against Busch that they’re in court for in the first place are necessarily not true.

But grab the popcorn, because this is going to get interesting.

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com