Anyone Willing To Try To Tackle This Legends Football League Quarterback Has A Death Wish

In the wake of all this overblown Deflategate nonsense (#FreeBrady), the NFL and I are not on speaking terms at the moment. I’m jumping off the plane crash of an organization until Week 1. So I’ve been on a mission to search for a side piece to make the NFL jealous, and hopefully she’ll start acting right or I’m throwing out all her shit on the sidewalk outside my apartment. My new sexy side piece: the Legends Football League (formerly known as the Lingerie Football League.)

I recently posted a video of a Legends League coach delivering a hype speech that would make anyone with a pulse run through a wall. Guy was an unforgiving savage, and I’d take a bullet for the man. Because the internet is for wasting time and putting off responsibilities, I then began watching highlights of the 7-on-7 all-female tackle football league to see if these ladies can ball. And I’m pretty sure half the league could beat the Oakland Raiders. Hard hits, shit-talking, and athletic women are everything I need in my life.

BroBible’s Chris Illuminati recently interviewed a few of LFL’s most dedicated players and it was clear that these ladies are serious about their sport. So serious, in fact, that they hop in a car every two weeks and drive seven hours just to throw on some pads and seek glory on the gridiron. And I bitched about going to the Upper West Side for my intramural basketball game.

If you’re still not convinced the LFL is anything more than a glorified Powder Puff League, try stepping in front of L.A. Temptation’s Ashley Salerno while I fake an injury on the sideline.

I think we’re going to need a stretcher. Or a body bag.

Take a look at this highlight reel of chicks drinking beer, getting in mid-game brawls, and playing the game like Lombardi hoped it would be played.

Watch tomorrow, Saturday, May 23, as the Atlanta Steam take on the Chicago Bliss at 9pm ET/8 CT on Fuse. Get hammered for it.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.