Lolo Jones, Who Is Not An MMA Fighter, Thinks She Can Outlast All Of Ronda Rousey’s Recent Opponents Combined

Ronda Rousey disposes of opponents quickly. As everyone in America knows, she recently made a mockery of Bethe Corriea in only 34 seconds at UFC 190. That kind of beating will make you think about changing professions to something far less embarrassing.

Speaking of changing professions, professional profession changer, Lolo Jones, thinks that she can make the natural leap from hurdles to bobsledding to MMA. Well, maybe not. But she does think that she — LOLO MOTHERFUCKING JONES — can last longer than a minute in a fight against Ronda Rousey. Jones is under the impression that she can run away from Rousey for a full minute. Maybe she is also under the impression that UFC fights take place in a meadow or other type of open field and not a goddamn octagon with no way out.

How much are these chicks paid to get knocked out in seconds? I can't fight but I'll prolong it and run circles for least a minute #UFC190

Posted by Lolo Jones on Saturday, August 1, 2015

I don’t usually pay to watch fights, but I would pay a considerable amount of money to watch this. But only if Dana White promises to play the Benny Hill theme song throughout the entire match and then hit us with a killer sad trombone the moment Rousey kills Jones. Top-drawer entertainment right there.