Jonas Gray’s breakout performance last night led to a deep dive into his past for clickable content. As a result, we got this video gem from 2011 in which the former Notre Dame running back opened for King of Comedy Dustin Diamond.
Our own resident expert, Chris Illuminati, was not entirely blown away by Gray’s performance. I found it serviceable but I don’t have a very good sense of humor.
The clip did make consider an important question: which NFL coach would be best at standup comedy.
Based on absolutely no research, here is what I think:
1) Rex Ryan
Topics covered: Weight, bizarre sexual fetishes, regrettable tattoos, snack food
2) Tony Sparano
Topics covered: Vision, fake funerals, classic HBO series, name confusion
3) Pete Carroll
Topics covered: 9/11, conspiracies, sportsmanship
4) Marc Trestman
Topics covered: Canada, turf management, monitoring his daughters’ social media accounts, smoking
5) Chuck Pagano
Topics covered: Cancer, deep voices, Parks & Recreation
6) Tom Coughlin
Topics covered: Punctuality, cold weather, gun control, Rex Ryan
7) Andy Reid
Topics covered: Babies, mustaches, Donovan McNabb’s vocabulary, playoff pressure
8) Jim Harbaugh
Topics covered: Khakis, social norms, anger management, Michigan football
9) Sean Payton
Topics covered: Mardi Gras, crime and punishment, accents, Drew Brees’ height, Roger Goodell
10) Bill Belichick
Topic covered: Cincinnati