The NFL playoffs are coming to a close and we have only one day of football left before the Super Bowl. We need to relish the day. We need to savor it. We need to suck every last drop out of the NFL teat for soon we will be without it for months on end.
With plenty of beer ready to be consumed as fans across the country watching the NFL Conference Championship games, we thought it would be a good idea to come up with some drinking rules to make this games all that more exciting.
As always, drink responsibly. Or not. It’s your life and shit.
Here’s how to play:
One drink for each:
- Reception of more than 25 yards
- Rush of more than 10 yards
- Dropped pass
- Sack or tackle for loss
- Time the lead changes (3-0 counts)
- Budweiser commercial
- Someone talks about Aaron Rodger’s poor little calf muscle.
- In a lapse of judgement you say to yourself, “Andrew Luck’s beard doesn’t look that bad.”
- Actually, take another drink for that Luck compliment.
- Player who puts his conference championship t-shirt over his pads. (On second thought, don’t do that, that would kill you.)
Two drinks for each:
- 4th down conversion
- Missed field goal
- Time three straight completions are thrown
- Kick or punt return longer than 30 yards
- Overhead shot of the stadium
- Time a wire receiver spins the ball after catching a routine pass for a first down.
- Robert Kraft sighting.
- Seattle’s “12th man” is mentioned.
- You begin to hate yourself for putting the wrong Patriots running back on your fantasy playoff roster.
- Gisele Bundchen sighting.
- Time a quarterback says “Omaha.”
Three drinks for each:
- Coach’s challenge flag thrown
- Skirmish or fight (between teammates on the sideline counts)
- Time a coach is shown hugging a player
- Reception of 50 yards (yes, a 70-yard TD is six drinks)
- A quarterback gets hit in his precious little head
- Rob Gronkowski spikes the ball.
- Aaron Rodgers rushes for a first down and then quickly points his hand down the field like he’s some kind of badass.
Finish your drink if:
- Someone scores a special teams touchdown
- There’s a safety
- If a player makes a one-handed catch
- It snows and/or rains during any of the four games
- Marshawn Lynch breaks 1000 tackles on his way to the endzone.
- Someone thanks God in a post game interview.
- Both underdogs win.