Nobody Cares About Soccer

by 5 years ago

​You know how to tell someone is off  their rocker?

If you ask their favorite sport, and the response is “soccer.”

You played growing up, and that’s literally it

Because the second you realized it was soccer…you quit.


“It’s the most popular sport, so don’t you dare!”

I hate when people in America act like they care.

You may watch the World Cup and have a few beers,

You’re a huge fan now! Three games in four years!


But Soccer is cool now and we have a good team

We got Landon and Beasley and Howard to dream

That guy Altidore, I heard he’s sick!

I watched ESPN and “he did a hat trick!”


If soccer is cool now, here is your test,

Tell me just three teams in the MLS

I’ll give you a second, take your time

The Galaxy, The Fire… damn what a rhyme


But you follow club right? I mean English Premier?

You’re an American dude, look in the mirror.

The only time we like it.. I’ll tell you when

When you see a penalty kick top play on ESPN.


So sit there and watch 90 minutes and yawn

And pray to get a head-butt from Zinedine Zidane

Pro soccer in America will never be legit

If you believe that it will, you’re full of shit.