The Original Bills Mafia Dildo Throwers Say They Have Zero Regrets: ‘One Hundred Percent, It Was Worth It’

by 10 months ago
The Original Bills Mafia Dildo Throwers Say They Have Zero Regrets

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So did you place a bet on whether or not a dildo will be thrown on the field during this weekend’s game between the Buffalo Bills and the New England Patriots? Because that is actually a thing you can do now. (Protip: Take the YES.)

That’s right. The tradition born on October 30, 2016 at New Era Field in western New York has now become so permeated into NFL lore that you can actually wager on it happening each year.

Last season, during the Bills and Patriots Monday night game, not one, but THREE dildos were tossed onto the field during the nationally televised game. At least one of the perpetrators was caught and arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

In 2017, the dildo throwers were banned for life from attending Bills home games.

But what about the Bills fans who got the whole tradition started? What kind of punishment have they faced? And are they sorry for starting this bizarre Bills Mafia tradition?

Well… for starters, they too were banned for life from New Era Field.

Not that Patriots players like Tom Brady or Gronk were offended. In fact, after it happened Brady said, “I did see it. Yes I did, I did see it. I thought it was funny the ref didn’t want to pick it up. He was kicking it. Nobody wanted to reach down and grab it.”

Can’t really blame him.

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Gronk’s response was equally funny.

The two brothers responsible for the inaugural dildo toss, Hub and Dillon Hayes, were interviewed this week by The Athletic (because, of course they were), and shared the genesis of this Bills-Patriots game day tradition.

It all began when Hub and his ex-girlfriend dressed up as 1970s porn stars for a Halloween party and still had the prop when game day rolled around.

“The next morning,” Dillon explained, “we were all fired up for the game, and my brother said, ‘This is going on the field. This is Tom Brady’s dildo. He needs this.’”

True to his word, Hub smuggled the dildo into the game in his pants. Makes sense.

Dillon says Hub was ready to throw it in the first quarter, but he told him to wait because he “didn’t want to get kicked out right away.” It was the Patriots rivalry game, after all.

However, with the game starting to get out of reach, New England was winning 31-17 with 3:40 left in the third quarter and were about to score another touchdown, it was go time for launch.

“It got to that time where enough was enough,” Dillon said. “I gave him the green light. I said, ‘Hey, if you’re going to go, this is the time to go. They’re right in our end.’ ”

Added Hub: “We were getting smoked. I was ready. Right as the ball got snapped, I chucked it onto the field.”

Dillon foolishly posted a video of the dildo toss on Twitter, which ended up helping Bills security find them, but Dillon says at the time they didn’t “didn’t get kicked out of the game or anything.”

“We didn’t know anything about getting banned until weeks later. An article came out that the dildo throwers were banned for life from every NFL stadium. I got a bunch of texts and replied, ‘We’re not banned. We haven’t heard anything.’

“Sure enough, that night someone came to our house with two letters we had to sign for. It was signed by Roger Goodell. Every NFL stadium we’re banned from, and if we get caught on the property, we’ll be arrested for trespassing.”

It hasn’t stopped them from attending games, however. They just “stay low-key and disguise” themselves a little but, said Dillon.

As for whether they regret their actions on that fateful Sunday?

“One hundred percent, it was worth it,” Dillon said

“I wouldn’t take it back,” Hub said. “It was worth it to go down in history. For every Patriots game in Buffalo from now on, there probably will be a dildo on the field.”

Like I said, take the YES this weekend.


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