Patrick Willis Retires, Clearly To Spend More Time Learning About Ties

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San Francisco 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis announced his retirement today at the ripe old age of 30. He was dominant enough in his brief career to generate discussion about his Hall of Fame credentials.

His surprising departure is the latest in what has been a pretty awful offseason for the Niners.

That’s the important stuff.

What isn’t as important, but still very confusing, is his tie game.

Now, far be it for me to give fashion tips to a much larger man, but someone needs to let Willis know the tie goes on after the shirt. And under the shirt, too, if you’re really looking to impress.

Baby steps.