Broncos Wire posted this Facebook video of Denver Broncos rookie quarterback Paxton Lynch aka Brock Osweiler 2.0 making fun of trick shots “artists” Dude Perfect and it’s nothing but net. Internet. Swish. Twick. That’s the sound the internet makes inside my head when everything lines up just right.
Despite nailing that parody video, Lynch was assigned a rating of 79 in Madden ’16. According to Mile High Report, “Jared Goff and Carson Wentz are rated with an 84, as are Joey Bosa and Ezekiel Elliott. For comparison, Mark Sanchez has a rating of 76.”
Apparently, Sanchez sees Lynch’s selection as a vote of confidence, stating he’s “thrilled about the opportunity”. Then, he rolled his eyes and made a jerk-off gesture. I assume.
Deadspin reported the Dallas Cowboys really wanted Lynch, as Jerry Jones was prepared to deal Dallas’ second, third, and fourth round picks to get back into the first round and get Paxton. My god, Jerry, I can only imagine what your negotiations with hookers are like. I’m surprised he didn’t give up Tony Romo for some glory hole.
In related news, Dude Perfect have their own show on Country Music Television where I believe they toss truck nuts into each other’s butts. Jk, but how funny would that be after a couple moonshines?