There is something about playing golf at a nice country club that you know you have no business playing at. Not only was it kind of strange pulling up to valet next to a Lamborghini Aventador in my 2008 Honda CRV but it also feels weird leaving it with a valet guy before a round of golf. I guess the finer things in life just aren’t for me, there’s something about walking up to a public course for $25 and knowing there are absolutely no expectations for me to post a high or low number.
Speaking of the finer things in life, this country club just so happened to give you your own caddie which is definitely a luxury for pretty much anyone. I’m just not sure whether I loved it or hated it.
A normal person would be thrilled when they see a caddie approach them, it’s almost a sure thing to save you a few strokes. Yet I found myself spending the first 9 holes trying to small talk my caddie to get him into the mix, and then spending the next 9 wondering what is the proper amount to tip. I can’t go too low or else they will know I’m not a member and can’t get into the prestigious locker rooms after, and if I tip too much I highly overpaid for shooting what most likely was going to be a score of 95 or higher.
Asking your caddie for a 5-iron when he tells you that your 150 yards out is never fun, and almost a sure way to get a smirk out of him, but it’s the way I do things on the greens and something that nobody would think twice about on a municipal course.
On the other hand, you can not help but appreciate what these guys do. Dripping sweat in 95 degree California heat and having some jackass question a read on the putt that these caddies see every single day. The switch from the 6 to the 5-iron when the cart is 200 feet away results in an instant sprint from your fellow caddie just to keep the round from going two hours longer than it should. I love these guys, and I love the game of golf, but moving forward you’ll solely see me ripping Bud Lights and puffing cigars on a municipal course where a triple bogey is always no more than a double bogey on the scorecard. Carry on golf world, carry on.