The Toronto Raptors have reached the NBA Finals for the first time in their 24-year history and Toronto residents are all jazzed up on
Mountain Dew maple syrup. The first two games in Scotiabank arena have been visibly electric and at 6 am before Game 1, there was already a line to get into the viewing party outside of Scotiabank Arena in what is cleverly dubbed Jurassic Park.
As it always is with thousands of hyped up fans celebrating an unprecedented run is that someone is bound to fuck up. We found that out following the Raptors Game 2 loss when a fan speaking with a reporter outside the stadium made a big oopsie on live television.
This dude is likely having a helluva week back at work. Can’t imagine anyone would want to loop in the “f*ck her right in the p*ssy” guy for a team-building exercise.
His name is Tristan, and he is reportedly a salesman from Ottawa. He recently spoke with the Toronto Sun about the incident and expressed regret and shame, while also claiming to be so hammered he doesn’t even remember being there, never mind saying it.
“I’m not in a position to defend myself in terms of what happened. I am sure you understand the influence of alcohol,” the salesman from Ottawa told the Toronto Sun. “What I did was disgraceful; it was an alcohol-influenced situation.”
“What I am trying to do is maybe reach out to Mr. and Mrs. Curry and that’s realistically who I feel I owe an apology to – and maybe Toronto,” he added.
“To be honest I don’t even remember being there but I am responsible for my own actions at the end of the day,” he told me. “I am not sitting here claiming victim.”
“Realistically at the end of the day there is not going to be any trouble other than the backlash and the repercussions of my actions,” he concluded. “There (are) no criminal charges that can be laid because of what happened. Does that make it any less wrong? Absolutely not.”
An awesome aspect of any professional sport is watching stars surprise their biggest fans. That could only be trumped by stars showing up to their trolls’ houses and surprising them in a Chris Hansen Dateline NBC-esque fashion to discuss the nature of their vitriol. There wouldn’t be one person in America who wouldn’t tune in to watch Steph Curry tell this dude to “have a seat over there.” There is a show strictly dedicated to watching a doctor pop pimples, and we can’t even get Troll Traps (copyright pending).