Last week, Rutgers athletic director Julie Hermann apologized on behalf of the university for the way some students acted when the Nittany Lions rolled into New Brunswick, NJ to take on the Scarlett Knights.
In case you missed it, Rutgers fans trolled visiting Penn State fans with these signs which basically make it seem like they’re cool with abusing children in the name of humor. Hermann sent out an “our bad” to the Penn State community and was sorry they had to witness such tasteless humor. Especially when her Penn State material is WAY FUNNIER.
According to sources at NJ.com, Rutgers AD Hermann has cracked her own Sandusky jokes on occasion and that “more than a half-dozen people inside the Rutgers athletic department, university officials acknowledged Hermann made the Sandusky-related remark at a staff meeting last fall.”
So let’s hear it. Let’s hear Hermann’s Sandusky material before she hits the road and works it out on small crowds and eventually releases it on a comedy album next Fall.
Multiple people interviewed by NJ Advance Media — who would speak only on the condition of anonymity because they feared retribution — said Hermann was talking about “reaching out and touching the donors” of the program and her punchline was to not do it “in a Sandusky way.”
“Everyone looked at each other and said, ‘Say what?'” said a Rutgers official at the meeting.
According to a second Rutgers employee, Hermann told her staff they are “all ambassadors for Rutgers. We have to reach out to our donors, fans, everyone, and we need to touch them. Not in a Jerry Sandusky-type way.”
A third Rutgers official called Hermann’s statement “a simple remark but one that resonated with us.”
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it took a story like this to reveal that the Rutgers AD is actually a ghostwriter for Louis CK. She has to be because that joke is crafted unlike any other joke I’ve heard since the days of Bill Hicks. See what she did there folks was tell her staff to “not be pedophiles.” Go out and get money from donors but not in a child molestation way. It’s both funny AND educational.
Maybe Hermann’s forthcoming comedy CD will be a “Best Of” because she sure has plenty of A+ material in such a short time on the job. Side one of the disc will be material all about her sexual discrimination lawsuit and her covering for more than a few coaches accused of abusing players.
Hermann’s biggest bit, her Seven Dirty Words if you will, is this little bit about the Ray Rice situation, reported by NJ.com in April:
“It is revealed that when asked by the journalism class about the domestic violence case surrounding former Rutgers running back Ray Rice, Hermann seemed to apply equal guilt to Rice’s fiancee, whom Rice knocked out in a casino elevator. Hermann referred to each as an “idiot,” and added: “Gentlemen, I know women … we, like, get your goat in the worst … we’re trying to. So just take a deep breath,” she said.”
“Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together and give a big HaHa Hut welcome to the very funny in her own mind…Julie Hermann!”
“Thank you! How’s everyone doing? Women! Am I guys? Women! Hey, why did Janey Rice have two black eyes? Because she didn’t listen the first time! That’s all for me! Don’t touch each other in a Sandusky way! Good night!”