NFL Network Host Sara Walsh Goes On Absolutely Epic Rant About Golfing Spouses

Sara Walsh, host of Good Morning Football on NFL Network, went on one of the greatest rants ever Wednesday morning, complaining about spouses who play golf.

“There’s been a lot of talk in the studio this week,” Walsh begins her rant. “It’s the grumbling about seeking permission from the significant other and being given a hard time because you just want to play a simple round of golf with your buddies.

“But I just want to put this in perspective, the other side of that equation, the one in which you come to us with utterly unrealistic promises that can never be fulfilled starting with this real unplayable lie. You are not going golfing and it’s just going to take three and a half hours. You know how I know that? Because not once in your history of golfing has a round ever taken three and a half hours. Not once.

“And it’s not because the group in front of you plays slow and it’s not because they had a dude in jean shorts with a 20 handicap.

“First of all, it is because your round of golf starts an hour earlier than your tee time so that you can get on the range. So that you can find your swing. Because somewhere in the recesses of your brain you think that you have a shot to get on tour.

“It’s because after your four and a half hour round, if you’re lucky, it’s not your fault, but your boy Chad who got you on the course forces you to go grab food with them at the club grill after. And I get it you’re starving. You know why you’re starving? You’ve been there all day!

“Also don’t complain about having to take a call from your wife when you’re on the course. You know why? Because I’m not interrupting … I wasn’t going to call Mike G out for this, but now I am. You know what, Mike? Your wife is not interrupting your 60 minute massage and your only hour of peace in the day. You’re gone all day. Stuff comes up. I can’t find the TV remote. We need answers, Mike G.

“When you come home seven hours later and I say, ‘hey, how did it go?’ I never hear, ‘man, I’m getting better.’ I only hear you’re ‘working on some things’ and ‘you’re close’ and the only thing that’s close to happening is me hiding those clubs where they’re never going to be found again.

“Here’s another thing. How much golf gear do you guys need? Because I’m not talking about the shirts and the pants or the golf shoes. I’m talking about the random Amazon packages that show up that I know I didn’t order. They’re the ones that measure your launch stats. Just because you’re buying gadgets to train speed doesn’t mean you’re about to be Rory McElroy.

“And stop telling me that the addition that the house really needs is a golf simulator. Because if I thought that simulator was going to pay for itself by putting you on the PGA Tour I would buy you the simulator myself.

“Get a less time consuming hobby like watching The Real Housewives. You know why? Episodes are only an hour. I can fast forward through the commercials. You can’t speed past the group in front of you or those shots on the rough.

“You know what takes less time than a round of golf? Practically any other sport. You can watch the basketball game, a soccer game, a hockey game, most Sundays a football game. You can run a marathon in less time than it takes for you and your boys to play a round. It takes the International Space Station, let me just bring this all back, it takes the International Space Station 90 minutes to orbit around the Earth. It takes you 90 minutes to shoot six over through the first six holes.

“So let me bring you down to Earth. We’re actually not saying you can’t play golf. We’re saying come back to Planet Reality with us. Be honest about the amount of time it’s going to take. Scott Pioli told us yesterday you should never set unreasonable expectations for your team. Don’t tell us it’s going to be three and a half hours. Tell us it’s going to be seven and when you come home in six then you can act like you saved par at home, unlike you did at the course.”

I think this guy’s comment pretty much speaks for every married man out there who golfs…