Shaquille O’Neal was on the Seth Meyers show last night and one of the main things they discussed was, of course, Kobe Bryant’s retirement. The Big Aristotle said all the typical things you’d expect to hear about what happens to an aging player, giving much praise to Kobe in the process … until he found out about Kobe’s retirement poem.
1st reaction: “No he didn’t.”
2nd reaction: “Oh, like, roses are red, violets are blue, type poem? No way. No way.”
3rd (delayed) reaction: “A poem? Seriously?”
The look of genuine amusement on Shaq’s otherwise baffled face throughout the entire poem conversation speaks volumes as to why the Kobe-Shaq era didn’t end with gift baskets. One dude takes nearly everything seriously, while the other dude is probably capable of having fun at a funeral.
Additionally — and this is important — isn’t Shaq employed by the NBA? How the hell was he unaware of this? The whole fucking world knew about this. My mom knew about this. What a great gig.
The whole interview is worth watching, as Shaq goes onto to bitch about FICA and how he spent his firs paycheck without knowing taxes existed.
[H/T TMZ]