The Sh*ttiest Things That Happened In Football This Week
With the college football regular season ending and the NFL’s reaching December, it’s the best time to be a football fan as playoff races are heating up and fantasy leagues are winding down—that doesn’t mean there still aren’t some major fails on the gridiron.
As we’ve given you each and every week this season, bad referee blunders, dumb penalties and even worse coaching decisions happened this past weekend, which is why we’re giving you the shittiest things that we saw in college and pro football.
Rest assured these things will really piss you off, whether you’re seeing them for the first time or not.
5. Tom Brady’s Miserable Tackling Attempt
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is great at a lot of things—it’s too bad that tackling an opposing player isn’t one of them, though.
While Tom Terrific has four Super Bowl rings, a supermodel wife and is regarded as one of the best signal-callers in NFL history, he showed that, after throwing a pick against the Philadelphia Eagles, he might want to hit the padded tackling dummies in case he’s asked to bring down an opposing player again.
Seriously, Brady just flopped down and looked like a damn moron in his “attempt,” which should have drawn a penalty in its own right.
4. The Most Ridiculous Offsides In The History Of Football
With just 5 wins this season and being embarrassed more than just once, it hasn’t been a great 2015 campaign for the Texas Longhorns football team—and it continued on Saturday in their final game of the year against the Baylor Bears.
In addition to blowing a 20-point lead to a fourth and fifth-string quarterback—no joke, the Bears were playing a wide receiver under center—the Longhorns also saw cornerback Naashon Hughes line up about five yards offside that made him look more like a Baylor wideout than a defensive back for the opposing team.
I’ve watched this gif about 30 times and still can’t stop shaking my head and wondering what in the hell this kid was thinking. Dude, were you concussed out of your mind or something?
3. Antonio Brown’s Awesome Goal Post Celebration Gets The ‘No Fun League’ Treatment
I totally understand how the NFL wants to eliminate the whole boasting thing when players score a touchdown, but is it really that necessary to do it when it does zero harm to an opposing team? I mean, the whole point of football is to get into the end zone, so let a player express himself once he does.
As we saw with all-world receiver Antonio Brown of the Pittsburgh Steelers, though, the refs punished the dude for having a little too much fun once he got his team six points against the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday night.
Sure, Brown slid down the goal post padding like a fucking gymnast competing in the Olympics—which actually earned the Steelers a penalty—but no one died because of it, so it’s time for the NFL to loosen up a bit.
2. The ACC Championship Game Refs Fuck Over North Carolina
It has been a common theme all football season, so it probably shouldn’t shock any of us to see another ref blunder high on this list.
While other zebra fails have happened in games that have affected the outcomes in the regular season, to see it occur during a conference title game—as it did in the ACC’s with North Carolina against Clemson—is fucking ridiculous.
With the Heels recovering an onside kick that would’ve given them the ball back down eight with 1:13 left, the officials fucked over the Heels by calling them offsides—which, after looking at the replay, they clearly weren’t.
Fedora on offsides: I had a chance to look at it, and they missed it.They were wrong. That’s all I’m going to say about it. They were wrong.
— Chip Patterson (@Chip_Patterson) December 6, 2015
Attempting another onsider, the Heels had a chance to recover the ball but a Clemson player wrestled it away, sealing the victory for the No. 1 Tigers and leaving UNC head coach Larry Fedora more than just a little pissed off.
1. The Detroit Lions
Believe me, Lions fans, I have absolutely no room to talk shit since I’m a Cleveland Browns fan, but, it’s just that your team is sooooo bad that it’s almost unfair.
Sympathizing with the awful ways that your team continues to find ways to lose and be pathetically bad, the most recent instant came against the Green Bay Packers on Thursday night when Aaron Rodgers escaped a number of Lions defenders to heave an absolute bomb for a game-winning Hail Mary that the secondary just royally fucked up.
Making matters worse, the heave came within feet of hitting the rafters—but, it’s Detroit, so of course they weren’t lucky enough to have had that happen and fall to the ground.