We’re two days out from the 2015 NFL Draft where the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are expected to choose Heisman Award and National Championship winner Jameis Winston as the #1 overall pick. All sorts of weird things happen during NFL Draft Week. I’m talking about things like just last night when projected first-round draft pick Shane Ray (DE, Missouri) was arrested for marijuana possession, throwing his draft stock in question. Or local businesses coming out of the woodwork to offer player’s ridiculous items should the player choose that area’s team. In this particular case I’m talking about how Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa is offering Jameis Winston free crab legs if he signs with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I don’t have to tell you why that’s funny or interesting, because if you clicked this article then you already know Jameis Winston’s dark past involving crab legs.
I picked up the phone a few minutes ago and spoke with a rep from Skipper’s Smokehouse, a legendary music venue and restaurant in the Tampa Bay area, and was told that the offer stands as such: “Free crab legs for the entire time that Jameis Winston is a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.’ It’s a fun way for the restaurant to grab attention, but I GUARANTEE they regret this decision down the road. Here’s why…
Firstly, in terms of ‘student body size’ you have to keep in mind that in the state of Florida, FSU comes in behind Miami Dade College (100,855), University of Central Florida (69,086), Florida International (60,592), Valencia College (60,469), and FSU’s bitter rival the university of florida (56,683). So that’s a crap load of people who went to colleges in the state of Florida who couldn’t give two craps about Jameis, and if you factor in the size of UF’s alumni base in the Tampa Bay area there’s a shitton of people who don’t want to see Jameis around at all. So by running this promotion of ‘free crab legs the entire time Jameis Winston is a Buccaneer’ they’re already alienating a lot of people who do NOT want to see Jameis as in the Red and Black of Tampa.
Secondly, let’s just put together some basic math on what exactly Skipper’s Smokehouse just offered up to Jameis Winston:
Jameis is 6-foot-4-inches tall, weighing an estimated 230-pounds. Using a simple ‘calorie calculator’ at Jameis’ height, weight, age, and level of activity he’d need to consume AT LEAST 4,395 calories per day (30,765 calories per week) just to maintain his weight.
In general, the caloric content of a single crab leg is considered to be around 130 calories, and the total caloric value of a ‘crab legs meal’ is somewhere between 300 to 600 calories.
Skipper’s Smokehouse menu lists the price of one-pound of snow crab legs at $19.99. According to this website, one pound of snow crab legs (without butter) is roughly 522 calories (add 100 calories per tablespoon of butter eaten with the snow crab legs).
Assuming no butter, that’s nearly 59 servings of snow crab legs that Jameis Winston could theoretically eat at Skipper’s Smokehouse each week for his entire career as a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, and that’s just if he’s maintaining weight and not trying to bulk up. Take into account the average career length of an NFL quarterback at 4.4 years, multiple his weekly servings by the number of weeks he’d theoretically be a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, multiply that by the cost of snow crab legs at Skipper’s Smokehouse and voilà: Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa Bay is looking at tab of $269,849 in crab legs eaten by Jameis Winston!…and just imagine if he decides to go on the Michael Phelps diet of 12,000 calories per day!
NOW TELL ME THEY WON’T REGRET THAT DECISION LATER! Because if you think otherwise you’re just dead wrong.
For more on this story you can click on over to the Tampa Bay Tribune.