— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) September 29, 2015
The St. Louis Cardinals might have the best record in the majors this year, but, I’ll tell you what, whoever’s running the team’s Twitter account deserves to be kicked in the balls after seeing what they sent out for thousands of fans to see today.
I could sit here and talk about how nonsensical the entire video is, with some guy wearing a ridiculous outfit walking the streets around Busch Stadium to dance with fans and lip-synch made up lyrics over Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock’s song “It Takes Two,” but, instead, I’ll just let you try and make it all the way through the 1:18 video.
Bet you can’t do it. If you can, well, screw you, because I have ZERO respect for your taste in music.
Stick to playing baseball, Cardinals, because making songs about a former player isn’t working well for you, me, or anyone else.