Here’s Your Official Super Bowl 50 Drinking Game
Super Bowl 50, which takes place in San Francisco between the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos, is probably the one event that everyone will watch this year, but let’s face it, the game – and all the hoopla that surrounds it – will probably end up being a little tedious. Thankfully, to combat the tedium, we have this little thing called drinking. Of course, if you just pound that shit until you pass out, people will think you have a problem. But if you can manage to make a game out of it, you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just a dude who appreciates a good time.
So it’s with that in mind that we bring you this, a Super Bowl drinking game that everyone can play, from that diehard bro who knows the names of every player on the practice squads to your senile old grandma who thinks the voices coming from the TV are messages from her late husband. It’s truly the real Big Game. You might even call it the Super Bowl of drinking games.
— Drink whenever someone talks about Carolina quarterback Cam Newton’s “natural athleticism”
— Drink whenever someone says that Newton seems “well spoken.”
— Chug when someone calls Newton “a troublemaker.”
— Drink whenever someone praises Peyton Manning’s veteran leadership. (This alone will get you drunk.)
— Drink whenever someone gets oddly defensive about Peyton and claims that he still has plenty left in the tank.
— Chug when Peyton struggles to throw the ball ten yards down the field and then starts blaming and bitching out his teammates.
— Drink every time Archie Manning is shown.
— Drink every time John Elway is shown.
— Chug when one of your friends makes a horse joke about Elway, and finish the bottle if Elway is caught somehow eating an apple on camera with his gargantuan teeth while a farmer pets his mane.