NFL WR Taylor Gabriel’s Tweet About Treadmills Will Short-Circuit Your Brain

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According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a treadmill is defined as: an exercise machine, typically with a continuous belt, that allows one to walk or run in place.

Former high school track star Taylor Gabriel, nicknamed “Turbo,”  rejects the very concept of a treadmill, indicative of a sub-tweet on a viral ESPN post that is leading many to believe that the 30-year-old was plucked from the Stone Age and into the Twittersphere.


I know I’m three books behind my 2019 New Year’s resolution list but it took me three tries at parsing through this tweet. It appears I was not the only one.



To Gabriel’s credit, he opened up a informative line of inquiry.


Never stop learning, folks.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.