The Lakers Just Spit In Carmelo Anthony’s Face By Signing The Ghost Of Jared Dudley To A One-Year Deal

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The Los Angeles Lakers agreed to sign 34-year-old free agent forward Jared Dudley to a one-year $2.6 million deal.

Dudley averaged a whopping 4.9 points and 2.6 rebounds on 42.3 percent shooting for the Brooklyn Nets a season ago, but the Lakers organization is more interested in acquiring veteran locker room guys to one-year deals than flashy ‘me first’ guys….like the freest of agents Carmelo Anthony.

Royce White, who was the 16th pick in the 2012 Draft and kinda sorta played in the NBA before mental health issues derailed his career, was so irate with LeBron and the Lakers for choosing Dudley over Melo that he busted out into a full WWE promo.

“LeBron is walking around like he’s the face & voice of the players. How is he letting his banana boat brother hang out there in the wings & they go sign Jared Dudley? If anybody thinks Dudley can hold Carmelo’s jockstrap, I’ll slap them.”

I laughed out loud at some of these reactions.

Someone has to sign Dudley’s song, and this dude may have a point.

Sadly, it’s the truth. There is no way Carmelo has the mental facilities to morph into a team-first player. It’s just not in his DNA. And the last thing the Lakers need is for a 35-year-old Melo to start going iso while LeBron and AD spread the floor with their thumbs up their asses.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.