It’s Saturday at your local PGA Tournament. You’ve never been before but you and your golf buddies scored four clubhouse passes for the day. After justifying to yourselves that it’s completely fine to drink breakfast beer with a sausage biscuit at 8am, you and your boys continue to slurp down Mich Ultra like a 5-year-old with Capri Sun in July. Later, while your out watching Phil and Rickie duke it out, you get this itch. You can’t explain it, but you have the drunken need scream from the top of your lungs. If only there were some occasion… This is a golf tournament after all. On the 8th hole you just can’t take it anymore. There is electricity amongst the crowd as Phil just got out of a maximum security prison to save par on the last hole and everyone went ape shit. Just as Lefty pegs his tee in the ground your heart starts racing. You have an uncontrollable sense of urgency to act, you know it’s coming. Phil waggles once, then the smack of the strike echoes through the crowd. “BABA BOOEY!!” you shout.
Really? Baba Fuckin’ Booey? That’s the best you can come up with? How original. Do you even know who or what Baba Booey even is? Next time be more creative. We caddies HATE you idiots who yell and scream the same thing after every, fucking, shot. If you must act a fool, give us all a laugh.
I might hate Baba Booey’s, but I’m all for having fun with it. Be original, be witty, and be memorable. Here is a list of the funniest things I’ve heard or heard about (some complete with responses from the pro).
“That’s Not a 2:30 Feeling!”
Dropped after Jim Furyk (5 Hour Energy Endorser) hit his drive at The Barclays a few weeks ago.
“How’d Ya Like That One Johnny Miller!?”
While this one was pretty funny, don’t poke the bear guys. To those of you who don’t know, Johnny Miller is the lead analyst for NBC Golf and is one of the least liked guys on TV. Miller is known to be the biggest motormouth on the air. He never shuts up, ever. And he acts like every word that comes out of his mouth is gospel when in reality, he’s only right 30% of the time. (Okay, he did shoot 63 to win the US Open, but the way he talks you’d think he’s cured Lupus or something.) After I heard this one, Johnny talked about it for the next 5 minutes which was 5 minutes longer than anyone wanted to hear about it.
“How About a Fresca!”
[Editor’s Note: Fresca is an underrated, no calorie soda. So crisp. So refreshing. Not enough love for Fresca in this world. Let’s all band together and change that.]
Alright, I know what you’re thinking. But when this debuted at the 2010 Ryder Cup, I found it quite hilarious. Leave it to our friends across the pond to come up with something so funny. It was so out there it was funny. Unfortunately, it caught on, spread like wildfire, and became overused so much I now cringe when I hear it.
“What A Great Shot!” -Fan
*Ball flies into fairway bunker*
“Yeah! If you don’t like money!!” -Pro
This happened at the Shell Houston Open a few years back. It might be a “you had to be there moment,” but it got quite a rise out of the crowd.
“Is That The Best You Got?”
During the 2002 US Open at Bethpage Black then #2 in the world David Duval was playing a Tuesday practice round when he attempted to hack a ball out of some gnarly rough and missed the green. One New Yorker wasn’t too impressed. He berated Duval which prompted the pro to respond, “like you could do any better?”. The fan then ducked under the gallery rope and asked to borrow a ball and club. The mysterious fan hit the ball out of the same lie as Duval’s onto the green and was invited to play the rest of the hole with him. Now that’s pretty cool stuff. Only at the US Open…
This one might be my favorite. So much so that it just came out of my mouth one time at a tournament as I was watched my pro’s ball track straight for the flag when we REALLY needed to make a birdie. I’ll probably end up doing it again and hopefully when that happens I’m mic’d up.