Watch Tom Brady Give Pats’ Owner Robert Kraft A Tender, Loving Pregame Kiss On The Cheek

The Patriots fan in me: This is beautiful. I felt my penis move. You don’t win four Super Bowls and become one of the greatest dynasties in NFL history by giving out handshakes and high fives. Save that for the peasants. When you’re villainized by teams all over the league who can’t beat you so they manufacture cheating storylines to make themselves feel better about sucking deflated donkey balls, you have to band together. It’s lonely at the top, sometimes you need to feel sweet, tender affection. Kiss, hug, fuck on the 50-yard line. I don’t give a shit. History is written by the winners. Hell, we should all follow suit. I may try to make out with JCamm on Monday morning. Why? Because that’s what winners do.

The human being in me: This is fucking weird.

*In both Brady and Kraft’s defense, they haven’t had much luck with high-fives in the past.

Seems like an eternity.


[h/t For the Win]