Tom Brady Caught On Film Attacking Kids, May Have Disease Borne Shaking Symptoms

Every man is entitled to a vacation, to some time to rest and recharge. A man who just won the Super Bowl is especially entitled to that time on the beach, and it appears that Tom Brady has been taking plenty of time away from the public eye after the Patriots’ big win. But new video has emerged of Tom Brady in the offseason, and for diehard Patriots fans this might be disturbing to watch…

The video depicts Tom Brady undergoing some sort of experimental sand therapy (it’s unclear if the NFL tests for this), attacking children on the beach (is he on drugs?), shaking uncontrollably (disease borne illness?), and torturing dogs by making them suffer in the South American sun without any water. It’s unclear of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has seen this disturbing footage yet, but all signs point to the league releasing a statement today, and swift punishment coming shortly there afterwards.

There is however a silver lining in all of this: Tom Brady appears to be keeping it tight, and has not let himself become pudgy like future Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston.

[H/T @BarstoolSports]