Tom From MySpace Wants Tim Lincecum In A Giants Uniform And Will Pay His Salary If That’s What It Takes
Tom from MySpace — yes Tom from motherfucking MySpace! — is a friend and fan of the San Francisco Giants and would very much like to see Tim Lincecum return to the mound in San Fran this coming season. In fact, Tom from MySpace wants this to happen so badly, he’s gone ahead and offered to pay Timmy’s salary.
That’s a power move and a bro move that rolls directly into a major mogul move.
As it stands now, Lincecum — who looks like the lost son of Uncle Rico — is a free agent who remains as such because he just hasn’t pitched all that well over the better part of the last four seasons, and especially the last two. The last time he came anywhere close to 200 innings was 2013.
Alas, Tom from MySpace has a lot of money and a lot of love for Tim Lincecum, so I’m sure the Giants and everyone’s old friend Tom can work something out under the table.