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Tiger Woods spent close to three decades as the face of Nike’s golf arm before announcing the end of that partnership on Monday.
There are obviously plenty of other brands who’d be more than happy to sign him, and if he has any interest in linking up with Topgolf, he’s the only person on the planet who’s qualified for a job the company posted after he announced his departure.
Anyone who’s subjected themselves to job searching online knows it can be an incredibly frustrating ordeal thanks in no small part to listings that tend to have some equally lofty and specific requirements for certain positions.
It’s hard to blame companies for going that particular route to avoid the headache that comes with having to weed out hopeful jobseekers who sent in a résumé in the hopes of securing a position they have absolutely no business applying for in the first place.
However, there are some situations where there are a laughable number of boxes that need to be checked to the point where you can’t help but wonder if there’s anyone out there who actually fits the bill.
That would be a pretty reasonable reaction to have if you were browsing LinkedIn and stumbled across the job listing Topgolf posted concerning its search for a Global Head of Golf Footwear & Apparel, which is supposedly designed for people who are “passionate about golf, have a deep appreciation for high-quality footwear & apparel, and possess excellent interpersonal skills.”
The company also posted a list of bullet points concerning the specific qualities it’s looking for, which includes pretty standard expectations like “Creative problem solving” and “Critical thinking skills.” However, those are supplemented by qualifications that include:
- Shot a 48 for nine holes at age 3
- Needs no less than 82 Tour victories
- Won the Vardon trophy no less than 9 times
- Has near or around 20 hole-in-ones
- Finished 1st in at least 15 major tournaments
- Must be willing to wear red and work on Sundays
As you can probably surmise by now, there’s seemingly no point in applying for that role unless your name is Tiger Woods (although LinkedIn shows more than 100 people have decided to throw their hat into the ring since it was posted).
I doubt this will pan out for Topgolf, but it doesn’t hurt to try.