Troy Aikman Wearing A Damn Hoodie In The Booth For ‘Thursday Night Football’ Shows Just How Done With The Cowboys He Is

I don’t know what Fox executive’s wife Troy Aikman gave the old college try on, but the powers that be inflicted the cruel and unusual punishment of making Aikman commentate a game featuring his bad former team without putting his fist through the drywall.

Aikman suffered through the Cowboys third consecutive loss, falling 31-24 to a Bears team helmed by Mitchell Trubisky whose skills Aikman ruthlessly mocked just one week ago. On Thursday night, Aikman turned his ire to the Cowboys coaching staff, who have given us no reason to believe they could even compete with Danny O’Shea’s Little Giants with that chubber who packs Cheetos in his helmet (puffed no less).

Aikman’s utter disgust with a team he led to three Super Bowl victories leads me to believe he ditched the formal wear to dress like a molly dealer in protest.

Aikman looks dressed to give a TED Talk on how social media marketing is key to business core competence.

Aikman looks like his wife gave him a Hall Pass as an early Christmas Gift and is gearing up to pull some tail at Dave and Busters. 

Why does Troy look like the first 52-year-old to stand outside a 7-Eleven to ask people to buy him beer?

Troy looks like the kind of dad who still does backflips into the pool and lets his son’s high school friends drink as long as they watch his high school highlight reel.

Aikman looks like the CEO of a hip tech startup who thinks putting three foozball tables in the office will make his employees forget they don’t have health insurance.

Aikman looks sad. Real fucking sad. I would be too if I were forced to watch my own team take a watery dump on the Dallas star I nearly died for. I ask everyone to pray for Troy, and Jason Garrett to clap for him.