Panthers’ WR Kelvin Benjamin Showed Up To OTAs A Bit…Huskier, And Twitter Is Relentlessly Fat-Shaming

I’m not in the business of fat shaming because the last thing is Lena Dunham to start a march outside my apartment. So I am just bringing to your attention that Kelvin Benjamin is objectively chubby entering OTAs. I’d like to make it clear that I have no opinion on the mere fact that he looks like Vince Wilfork, I’m just a bit shocked that the Panthers’ second leading receiver behind Greg Olsen is running routes about as fast as a DMV line.

In Benjamin’s defense, it’s become a trend for him to come into the season a bit sluggish, so there should be no doubt in any Panthers’ fan’s mind that he will turn that jelly into rock before September 10th. But it’s fun to pile it on now!

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.