Wayne Rooney Scored An Insane 70-Yard Goal From Beyond Midfield Despite Being Old AF

Wayne Rooney is not old. He might look a little old but that’s just appearances. He’s only 33-years-old and turning 34 in October.

However, in the world of professional sports, Wayne Rooney is an old ass man. Especially in soccer where the pros typically peak in their early to mid-20s when their vitality is at an all-time high.

Rooney was one of the most prolific goal scorers in Premier League history. He put 15 goals in the back of the net for Everton (in 67 games) and then he ascended to LEGENDARY status at Manchester United where he scored 183 goals in 393 games. He also scored an additional 53 goals for England’s National Team.

These days he’s showcasing his talents in the MLS where the quality of play is noticeably lower than in England’s Premier League. It’s unclear if that discrepancy in talent factored into this goal from Rooney last night that helped him propel D.C. United to a 1-0 victory over Orlando City or if he just unleashed some of that old Rooney magic.

Rooney sent the ball flying around 70-yards, from beyond midfield, and scored a goal by soaring it over the keeper’s head who was out of position and tried in vain to make a stop. It’s one of the most spectacular goals I’ve ever seen and fans were losing their SHIT last night after this clip hit the Internet.

The video has already been viewed half a million times on YouTube and 3.4 million times on Twitter. I’m sure the numbers look the same on Facebook:

Here’s the Twitter version if you prefer that over YouTube:

As you can imagine, fans lost their bananas. From America to England, everyone on Twitter was in awe by Rooney’s goal:

They have to somehow make it about United…

That was the only goal scored in the game and it propelled Rooney’s team to a 1-0 win over Orlando City. DC United sits in a tie for third place in the Eastern Conference with 30 points through 18 games, just two points behind leaders Philadelphia with 32 points through 18 matches played.

It honestly feels like Rooney will be able to play in the MLS until he’s 40-years-old, him and Zlatan. I’m sure that won’t be the case but they seem to be that far ahead of the competition.