Here Are Your Week 11 NFL Picks, Served With a Side of Laughs

by 6 years ago

#1 – Dolphins fans should hold back on the tattoos
I’m not sure what this guy was thinking when he decided to get the ridiculous body tattoos that he’s sporting, but the worst part is around his belly. I guess it goes well with his nipple rings, but what happens if another team goes undefeated and the 1972 Dolphins are somewhat forgotten?

#2 – Rob Ryan has an opinion on the best cheesesteak in Philly
Rob Ryan’s been known to give away free advertising to local business on the back of his play chart, but never has his advertising been so controversial. Ryan gave the nod to Pat’s Steaks in Philadelphia last week, much to the dismay of those who like Geno’s Steaks. Not to say that Rob Ryan doesn’t look like a man who knows his food, but I’m more of a Tony Luke’s guy myself.

#3 – Say no to crack
Our final link leads us to another debate: what photo is worse between the one of the Dolphins fan and this one of Cowboys safety Eric Frampton having a wardrobe malfunction. I’m not sure what happened next, but I’m hoping for Brandon Hughes’ sake that he didn’t get a mouthful.

Zachary Viskovich won his second week of the season in our BroBible Pickem Competition. It’s also pushed him up to the top of the standings through 10 weeks. But can he hold on? Now on to this week’s picks…

Locks of the Week:

Green Bay -3.5 over DETROIT
The Lions’ secondary is in shambles. Four of their top defensive backs didn’t practice on Wednesday and only two of the four put in a limited practice on Thursday. Green Bay welcomes back Jordy Nelson just in time to put up some big numbers this Sunday. Green Bay may be missing a couple pieces on defense, but the Lions’ offense has been too inconsistent to win a shootout with the Packers.

Indianapolis +9.5 over NEW ENGLAND
The Patriots may be scoring points in bunches, but they’re giving them up in bunches as well. Other than holding a challenged Rams’ offensive group to seven points, the Patriots have given up at least 20 points in their last six games. Andrew Luck’s been slinging the rock well enough in the last few weeks where no spread close to double digits is safe.

Cincinnati -3.5 over KANSAS CITY
I struggled to find a third game to lock in, so I decided to go against what could be considered the worst or second worst team in the league. The weather conditions in Pittsburgh last Monday weren’t conducive to a blowout, but the weather conditions in Kansas City for Sunday will suit the offenses a tad better. Kansas City is a team looking for motivation and they found that in Monday Night Football. A 1 p.m. Sunday game will be ho hum for them against a Cincinnati team capable of putting up points.

Trap Game of the Week:

San Diego +7.5 over DENVER
It’s really hard to root for the Chargers to cover a spread. I can only imagine how their fans feel. They’re the opponent who actually sent Denver on their recent torrid run. Up 24-0 on the Broncos at halftime, the Chargers melted down in the second half to the tune of a 35-24 loss and the Broncos haven’t looked back since. San Diego will be missing Jared Gaither at LT, which doesn’t bode well for Phil Rivers’ blind side. Still the thought is that the Chargers actually respond when you expect nothing from them and they have the offensive weapons to keep this at a touchdown or less.

Rest of the Picks:

Cleveland +7.5 over DALLAS
Despite picking the Cowboys for this week’s survivor pick, one has to acknowledge two things with this game. For starters, the Browns show up to play every week. Secondly, this is a trap game for the Cowboys. They’re feeling good after last week’s win against Philadelphia and they’re looking ahead to the Thanksgiving game against Washington.

ATLANTA -10.5 over Arizona
Arizona is up to five losses in a row and it’s soon to be six. Their secondary has shown holes in the last two weeks and that’s not good timing with Atlanta’s high-octane passing offense next up on the schedule.

N.Y. Jets +3.5 over ST. LOUIS
With all the chatter in New York this week about the Jets, two things can happen this week. They either meltdown, which leads to some serious changes being made next week or they band together to start a comeback to their season. I’m calling the latter since the schedule sets up nicely for them from here on out and I think Rex Ryan still has influence over the locker room.

Jacksonville +16.5 over HOUSTON
They might be competing with Kansas City for the #1 overall pick, but the Jaguars are actually a decent road team. They’re 1-3 with their three losses all being with margins of less than ten points.

WASHINGTON -3.5 over Philadelphia
All the Eagles fans wanted Nick Foles a few weeks ago and now they get him. Unfortunately he’s playing behind one of the worst offensive lines in football. It will only take a couple of quarters before fans miss Vick’s mobility.

Tampa Bay -1.5 over CAROLINA
The Buccaneers have won four of their last five games and seem poised to make a run for the playoffs. I’ve tried to find redeeming qualities in the Panthers, but my patience has worn out.

OAKLAND +4.5 over New Orleans
Carson Palmer is the king of garbage time. He’ll be able to keep this game close with Oakland having the receiving weapons to take advantage of a Saints team giving up 307.3 passing yards a game. The Saints are never as productive offensively when you take them out of the dome, as is evident by their 1-3 road record this year.

Baltimore +3.5 over PITTSBURGH
This spread in this game has flipped to Baltimore being favored by three and half points, but we’re showing the spread listed in the BroBible Pickem Challenge. Still I don’t think Pittsburgh has what it takes to win this game after what I saw from Byron Leftwich last week. The Ravens have major issues at cornerback right now, but Leftwich isn’t accurate enough in this offensive scheme to take advantage of it.

SAN FRANCISCO -5.5 over Chicago
Both teams are dealing with concussion issues at quarterback, but it looks like only San Francisco will have their starter in time for this week’s game. Jason Campbell had all the talent coached out of him in Washington and won’t be able to move his offense against one of the toughest defenses in the league.

This Week: 0-1
Last Week: 7-7
Season: 69-75-3
Locks: 15-14-1
Survivor: 8-2

TAGSbrobible pickemMiami Dolphinsnfl picksRob Ryan

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