Google’s CEO Faces Congress; Verizon’s Oath Has Been An Epic Failure

The Water Coolest

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THE HEADLINES

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GOING CONCERN

If the $4.5B impairment charge against Oath’s goodwill is any indication, Verizon’s bet on Yahoo and AOL’s content business, or the internet equivalent of Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes respectively, has failed miserably.

For the liberal arts majors amongst us, a goodwill charge is the difference between how much a company paid for another company and what said company is actually worth. By taking its lumps Verizon is more of less admitting the acquisitions were a complete and utter disaster. Well no sh*t.

The subsidiary of Verizon, called Oath, which houses Yahoo, AOL, HuffPost, and Tumblr brought in just $5.6B through the first three quarters of 2018, a relative drop in the bucket compared to Verizon’s $97B overall top line.

Compared to size movers Facebook and Google, Oath has struggled to pull fat stacks of ad revs and is expected to miss its goal of bringing in $10B by 2020. The brand that is one defunct social media property short of being a 2000’s internet graveyard, will focus on other revenue streams … like pressuring readers into making purchases of stuff they don’t need via their useless sites.

It doesn’t take more than two scrolls on Yahoo Finance to see they are already doing a bang up job at this.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Doesn’t it seem awfully suspicious that this massive impairment comes right around the time that Tumblr decides to ban ‘adult content?’ Coincidence? I think not.”

 

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH

Google’s Sundar Pichai faced the House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday to defend his company’s handling of user data, and allegations of Google working a liberal bias into its search algorithms. The results of Mr. Pichai’s testimony could be a difference maker in potential regulations being put in place which would make it costlier for Google to operate.

Pichai, sans booster seat, stood firmly by his stance that Google does not, and can not, create a bias that silences conservative voices on its platform. He was also questioned about Google’s alleged work to develop a search engine that could be censored by the Chinese government, which many members of the House see as a direct roadblock to democracy in the communist country.

In attendance, along with the House Judiciary Committee, was Ian Madrigal, who donned his finest top hat and mustache (read: Monopoly Man outfit). Madrigal has attended other hearings dressed as Rich Uncle Pennybags as a protest against the way large corporations handle user data … or something like that. Either way, A+ troll job.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Somebody was clearly butthurt over their Google+ account getting hacked.”

 


IN OTHER NEWS

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  • *Cue the Diddy* Silencing the haters (read: Carl Icahn) Dell shareholders voted to bring the company public, again, in a deal valued at $24B. Under terms of the complex deal, Dell will buyout shareholders of a tracking share that follows one of Dell’s subsidiaries, VMWare.

 

  • Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse for HSBC … “people with knowledge of the matter” allege that the banks head of Global Markets left the firm following sexual misconduct accusations raised by a junior female colleague.  It’s beginning to make sense why Thibaut de Roux lists “Baby It’s Cold Outside” as his favorite Christmas song.

 

  • Delta Airlines is planning to ban all emotional support animals on flights longer than 8 hours. Because, what the hell are emotionally unstable people doing more than 8 hours away from home, anyway?! Plus all good boys under the age of four months will be banned no matter the flight length.

 

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