Take A Look At The ‘Superyacht’ Jerry Jones Just Shelled Out $250 Million For And Try Not To Cry

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How do you plan to spend the twilight of your life? Sucking back cold ones on your porch while yelling at kids who come within a 3-foot radius of your lawn and reminding them that it was tougher when you were a kid, when robots didn’t wipe your ass for you? Samesies.

Jerry Jones is going about senior citizenship in a flashier way. The 76-year-old billionaire owner of the Dallas Cowboys has reportedly purchased a 360-foot yacht for $250 million. For reference, 360 feet is the length of a football field from the back of one endzone to the back of another. Go figure. For another point of reference, Jones spent $110 million more on the yacht than he did when he bought the Cowboys for $140 million in 1989.

Jones’ yacht, named Bravo Eugenia after his wife, Gene, has two helipads to land his helicopter, a gym and a luxurious “beach club” that includes a sauna, steam room, massage room, pool and rain shower. As many as 14 guests can sleep on the boat (seems low), which requires a 30-person crew.

The $250 million pricetag may seem outlandish to the commoner, but as Forbes points out, Jones is worth an estimated $6.9 billion. So this purchase would equate to an average dude worth $69,000 shelling out $2,500. In the industry, we call this a “fuck the haters” purchase.

Take a look at various angles of the super yacht below.

I need one of these bastards. Do any yacht companies accept rare Beanie Babies and IOUs as payment? HMU.

[h/t Forbes]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.