By Nick Ellis, Editor at The Water Coolest
Cocaine…. The end.
Wow, so apparently that didn’t quite hit the word count we’re looking for. I guess I’ll try my best to get in a few more lines about the best way to wake up. Even though everyone already knows that’s Folgers in your cup (see here for the Folgers incest commercial that didn’t quite make it to TV).
Anyways where were we… Oh yes, waking up. Waking up for the workday has been challenging from time to time. Either you can’t fall asleep the night before, or you get to bed late, or maybe you’re just hungover. The latter being the most likely. So getting started for work all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed might need some assistance. And that’s where I come in, to present a few options to get your engine running
before driving to the office hopping on that 8 A.M. Zoom call.
First up: GET SLEEP. I know, crazy, right? There are actually some creatures walking among us that feel properly energized just from sleep and sleep alone. They wake up, roll out of bed, and go “I’m ready for the day”. That’s some real mf’ing Spongebob sh*t right there. And if they combine it with a tall glass of water (which is how I describe myself) then they’re really rockin’ and a-rollin’.
I, on the other hand, am not one of those people. I have three alarms set on fifteen-minute increments, and snooze each one of them, so it’s like a symphony of alarms going off every 4 minutes by the time I finally roll out of bed. Weird how I can never get anyone to stay the night. THAT must be why.
So, what I’m saying is I need a little substance, and that’s where coffee comes in. 90% of the time I drink it black, like my soul. But every now and again (mostly on Fridays) I like to give myself a nice little treat. The black coffee choice is a combination of things: 1- it’s wallet-friendly. 2- my dad drinks it black and would call me a Nancy boy if I even put a drop of milk into it. And 3- on my first day of work six years ago I tried to put creamer in it, had no clue how much to put, overflowed the cup, burnt my tongue, and then walked back to the meeting room defeated.
For the LMFAO fans out there, or just people who truly have their sh*t together, they workout before work. Do you know how responsible you have to be to budget your time in the morning to exercise BEFORE work? That’s unbelievable. But some do it, and they say the workout boosts their energy levels after, mitigates the afternoon slump, and helps them fall asleep earlier for a longer night of rest.
Last on the list is an energy drink. No disrespect who like their morning off with a BANG, but this has never been my thing. However, some of my friends swear by them, that it helps them focus and dive right into their work since it’s like an injection of… well, energy. I would be worried about the 11 A.M. crash afterward, but maybe you just crack open another Red Bull (sans vodka) and keep riding the wave.
So, as you can see, you have several options on how to get a lil pep in your step for the morning. Some are better than others, and one just seems completely unrealistic IMHO (sleep). But no matter which you choose, just remember that you woke up again and made it to tomorrow. And that there’s only 35 more years of this sh*t before you’re done.
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