The world of fame is rife with nepotism, whether it’s one of the million Baldwins running around Hollywood or one of the umpteen billion Bushes installed in various levels of government. But sometimes, a famous dude or lady dude manages to keep his famous relations under wraps. Either they choose a different name or they are so different from their famous cousin – or brother or father, etc. – that it’s shocking when it turns out that they somehow both swam in the same gene pool. It is to these unlikely relatives that this list is devoted.
By the way, this only involves people who are fairly closely related. Sure, Ryan Gosling and Justin Bieber might be tenth cousins or something like that but if you look long and hard enough, you’d probably find that you and I are distantly related. Sorry about that incident at the family reunion with grandma and the beer bong by the way. Anyway, let’s just get on with it, eight famous sets of relatives that you probably didn’t know about.
Duncan Jones has made quite a name for himself as the writer/director of several mind-bendy type movies like Moon and Source Code, and so if you think about it, it makes sense that his movies would be weird as hell since he’s related to David Bowie aka the dude who spent a good chunk of the ‘70s as an androgynous possibly gay alien. But not only are they related, Duncan Jones is actually Bowie’s son. Really, the idea that David Bowie even has children is oddly disconcerting, but before you blow your own mind trying to picture Bowie raising a kid named Duncan in the quiet countryside, Duncan was known by the name “Zowie Bowie” as a child, so… no, not so normal. Still, your dad probably never banged Mick Jagger so Duncan/Zowie still has you beat. Unless he did, in which case…congrats?
Photo credit: david_shankbone, Flickr
Yeah, Tom Hanks is descended from Abe Lincoln, more specifically through Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks. Sadly, this also means that Tom Hanks’ semi-retarded rapping son, Chester Hanks aka Chet Haze, is related to Abraham Lincoln. Just think about that for a minute and then do your best not to take a power-drill to your temple.
Photo credit: Tom Hanks image by s_bukley/Shutterstock
Lenny Kravitz’s mom, Roxie Roker, was Al Roker’s cousin which means that yes, Lenny’s hot model/actress daughter Zoe comes from the same family as the, ahem, jolly dude who’s way, way too into the weather. Really, though, that’s an oddly accomplished family tree – you’ve got Zoe herself, and of course Big Al, but you’ve also got her dad, Lenny, the rock star, her mom, Lisa Bonet aka the attractive Cosby kid, and Lenny’s mom, Roxie, who was an actress best known for her role on The Jeffersons. Oh, and some white people too but they aren’t famous so who cares about them.
Photo credit: david_shankbone, Flickr
Frances Ford Coppola’s real-life family is even bigger and more convoluted than his fake Corleone family – and perhaps even more ridiculous. It starts with Frances, who made his composer father Carmine Coppola famous when he used him to score the Godfather trilogy, which has basically become the soundtrack to all things Italian for a lot of people. And most people know he cast his daughter, Sofia Coppola in the third film, which led to her becoming a celebrated director in her own right. But that’s just the tip of the Italian Ice(berg). Talia Shire aka Adrian in the Rocky films aka Connie Corleone in the Godfather trilogy is Frances’ sister. And Talia is the mother of actor/musician Jason Schwartzman, who’s pretty damn famous in his own right. But that’s not all! Frances is also the uncle of Nicolas Cage. Yeah, that Nicolas Cage. Cage was born Nicolas Coppola and his dad was Frances’s and Talia’s brother. Oh, and Frances’ uncle, Anton Coppola is also a celebrated composer/conductor. Jesus! (Note: That’s just an expression, I’m pretty sure Jesus wasn’t a Coppola. Then again…)
Photo credit: Frances Ford Coppola image by Featureflash/Shutterstock
Yeah, they share the same last name, but most people wouldn’t even imagine that these two are cousins. That’s because one is a Playboy Playmate while one… isn’t. And because one is hilarious and respected as an actress while one… isn’t. I don’t know, maybe they each got half of the really good genes in order to ensure that one super McCarthy wouldn’t get them all and then immediately enslave men everywhere. Then again, Melissa did agree to star in Mike & Molly, which seems more like something Jenny would do so maybe they aren’t that different after all. Still, I wouldn’t look for that Melissa McCarthy issue of Playboy anytime soon. Also, I apologize for just putting that in your head.
Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock
Excuse me, Snoop Lion. My bad. Anyway, Ray J aka the dude most famous for a sex tape in which he pissed on a Kardashian (you know which one) and Brandy aka that chick who sold some records back when Bill Clinton was making sex tapes with Monica Lewinsky (I’m not sure if he pissed on her in any of them though), are brother and sister. Most people probably know that. But what they probably don’t know is that Snoop is actually their cousin, which makes a weird sort of sense given that he probably has tapes of himself tea-bagging and pissing on Hillary Clinton. It all comes full circle, you see.
Photo credit: Snoop Dogg image by Mat Hayward/Shutterstock
Speaking of the Kardashians… don’t tell me that this one isn’t true. Also, since Snooki is so clearly related to the Ewoks, I think this means that Khloe and Snooki are somehow related? I don’t know. Frankly, I blame George Lucas for the existence of all these freaks and anxiously await the day when Harrison Ford crashes their cantina in order to set things right.
Photo credit: Khloe Kardashian image by s_bukley/Shutterstock
Yeah, this one is just weird and vaguely depressing. It turns out that Jimmy Carter and Berry Gordy, the founder of Motown, are actually second cousins which is okay and kind of cool all on its own. But then you bring in the spazzes from LMFAO who are actually Berry Gordy’s son and grandson. Seriously, that freak with the big red fro is Berry Gordy’s son. Yeah, I know. Anyway, that means that the Party Rock idiots are related to Jimmy freakin’ Carter. Oh, and to make matters more ridiculous, both Jimmy Carter and Berry Gordy are distantly related to Elvis Presley, which means that the dudes in LMFAO are not only related to the founder of Motown, but to a former President of the United States and also perhaps the biggest pop music icon of all time. They have wisely chosen to use this legacy to make songs about tequila and butts and videos starring Ron Jeremy. I’m pretty sure I just explained what has happened to America.
Photo credit: Jimmy Carter image by spirit of america/Shutterstock
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