For the second year in a row, Jennifer Lawrence tops the list as the world’s top paid actress–pulling in a casual $46 million this past year, according to Forbes. At just 26 years old and no evident drug or mental health problems that typically plague celebrities, Jennifer is rich, hot, and maybe one of the most sought after women on the planet. This is evident in American hero Ken Bone’s reddit post, claiming he saw her butthole in the Fappening, and “liked it.” Absolute savagery out of my boy Bone.
Jennifer could have virtually any guy in the world, so any guy she chooses that isn’t me, I’ll scoff at and project my insecurities on him. So I guess I had no choice in being totally surprised and moderately appalled she’s secretly dating renowned director Darren Aronofsky. At 47, the man behind blockbusters like Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan, and The Fighter is 21 years older than Jennifer. Granted, he’s a wildly talented Harvard grad, but Harvard Schmarvard–he looks like a guy who doesn’t line a public toilet seat with TP before dropping heat.
Here’s Darren all dressed up for the annual Fuckboi awards presented by Justin Bieber’s dad.
I can call him all the name’s in the book but if you offered me the opportunity to switch lives with him right this second, I wouldn’t hesitate. Don’t even need to tell my mom I love her. Can you blame me…
To hell with you, Darren.